Two for one

*Not animal related* :)

While I am on here, I am thinking about moving. Where? I don't know. So, many places. I have several states to choose from... :)

I am single and I really like it. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and I love it! Looking back, I feel like I was held back. M was a home body and at the time, it was OK. I loved being with just him. It was all I needed because I loved him and he made my life great by loving me back. I have realized that I lived my life for him and he was (obviously) fine with it. *I know he may have given up a lot for me, too. I don't want this to seem like I never did anything wrong. Two way street. Trust me.*

Anyway, I didn't realize what I gave up, until now. I love playing sports, being outdoors, hanging out with my friends and just LIVING! I am no party animal, really. It may seem like it, but I am really not. I like staying home and reading a book and snuggling next to my furbabies, but I love to be outside. I love camping, riding my bike, walking the dogs, running (really short distances), lounging at the pool, hiking, fishing and just being alive. I love to spend time with my family, my friends, drinking a few beers or a bottle of wine and being goofy. I do love a great party and dancing it up once in awhile.

I love taking mini-vacations. In fact, I am planning more road trips with some friends this summer.

Now, back to moving. I don't think I will be ready for another couple of years. Bella just turned 8 and I don't know how much time I have with her. She is a large breed dog and they don't live as long. It could be 2 years or (with any luck) 5 years. I also still share custody of my Austin. I am not sure how long we can continue this, but right now, it's working. Austin seems to be happy. :)

I could move to Texas, Colorado, North or South Carolina, back to Florida or anywhere! I am feeling a little trapped here. I love my family (oh, how I love them!) and I love my friends, but I am just not fulfilled. I don't know if a move would make that happen. I don't know what would, to be honest. I am working on what I can to better myself. My budget is a work in progress, but whatever. It's not impossible.

This year is the year of the Tiger. My nickname? Tigers. My favorite animal? Tiger. Hello? It's a sign!

I have goals this year. I am going to go to more concerts (budget permitting), take small, cheap roadtrips with my friends, spend more time with my friends, read more, learn spanish (HA!) and focus on me! I do love myself. :) I am even going on my first vacation in THREE years! It's a small one and with my family, but it's a vacation! I have gift cards for massages, manicures and pedicures and I fully intend to use them. I am walking daily with Charlie and when I do that, I have my music and I can just focus on myself. I reflect on my day, my life and my future.

I just feel so alive this year. I don't know what the change was and I do, in fact, still have my down days, but I just want to be happy. Everyone has the choice. You can be happy and smile when you get those lemons or you can be downright pissy and not only ruin your day, but those around you. I know those people. SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUP!

I have a life to live and a life to enjoy. Things didn't work out for me like I planned, but it's those mistakes that made me truly appreciate the second chance I have.

Another sign? The Soup Dragons just came on the radio station. The song? I'm free!