Is it even possible? I have known for a few months that Bella would be gone, but I really second guessed the whole"months" part. She has been doing so well for so long! The past three days? Well, I can really tell a difference. Her eye is more droopy, she has a clogged nostril and her back legs are giving out on her. She hasn't seemed too interested in her food and she isn't always at the door to greet me. She always greets me. Without Bella, I don't know what I will do. She has been my strength for 8 years. I have to be strong for her. I can't let her live a sad life, but I selfishly want to keep her here. I know it's not time right now, but I know that it's coming up so much closer than I want it to. With the way she has gone down, it might be weeks. I have had months to prepare myself, but I'm just not ready. I don't want her to suffer and I hope I will have the strength to do this. It seems so much easier when it's someone else and someone else's dog. This is MY dog. My baby. I always write about what a great dog she is and always has been and she really has been. She never ate my clothes or my shoes. She only had accidents in the house when she was a puppy (and I was lazy). She never just barked because she could. She was easily crate trained and trained in general. She was a great puppy that turned into the BEST dog.
Why does someone want my pets? Why do they have to be taken away from me? I am not ready. I guess I really lucked out with Rhaja. She did live for a long time and I got to spend half of my life with her. But Bella is only 8. I missed the first 8 months and then, three years. Stupid Florida.
Pita was only 6. We missed the first two years of her life. She was taken way too early for sure.
Bella,
I love you. I will make sure you have your diginity when you go and I will not let you suffer. I promise you that. You have given me unconditional love for 8 years and I will never forget that. You have set a really high standard. :)
Love,
Momma
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